You're Nicked

Voters complain often that politicians don’t actually want to talk to them about the issues that matter – that they don’t want to come round and debate on the doorstep, put leaflets through the door, and so on.

So when Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg announced that, post-conference, he was going to be phoning a few thousand people up for a chat, I expect a good many voters rubbed their hands with glee, relishing the chance to have a productive and meaningful debate with a major party leader, or at least do a multi-choice quiz with him. ‘Hi, Nick, great to hear from you. For one hundred pounds, how much is the weekly pension? a) £30, b) £60, c) £90 or d) £120? No guessing, now. This is the kind of stuff you’re meant to know.’

But no – disappointingly, it’s turned out to be just a recorded message. ‘Hi there! Con-grad-yulations! This is Nick Clegg of the Liberal Democrats! Listen to this message and you could win a free weekend discussing Proportional Representation with Lynne Featherstone in Brighton.’ Not sure how he was talked into this. Maybe he said he was going to phone up ‘more than 30’ people and then tried to backtrack by saying he’d exaggerated a bit.