You're Nicked

Voters complain often that politicians don’t actually want to talk to them about the issues that matter – that they don’t want to come round and debate on the doorstep, put leaflets through the door, and so on.

So when Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg announced that, post-conference, he was going to be phoning a few thousand people up for a chat, I expect a good many voters rubbed their hands with glee, relishing the chance to have a productive and meaningful debate with a major party leader, or at least do a multi-choice quiz with him. ‘Hi, Nick, great to hear from you. For one hundred pounds, how much is the weekly pension? a) £30, b) £60, c) £90 or d) £120? No guessing, now. This is the kind of stuff you’re meant to know.’

But no – disappointingly, it’s turned out to be just a recorded message. ‘Hi there! Con-grad-yulations! This is Nick Clegg of the Liberal Democrats! Listen to this message and you could win a free weekend discussing Proportional Representation with Lynne Featherstone in Brighton.’ Not sure how he was talked into this. Maybe he said he was going to phone up ‘more than 30’ people and then tried to backtrack by saying he’d exaggerated a bit.

There's Something About Sarah

This year, the US elections have been a continuous narrative full of surprises, rather than just a rather dull run-off between two greying men, one of whom is slightly less right-wing than the other. And now something very odd is happening.

Sarah Palin stands for all sorts of things that make me shudder. The impression given in her first few days of high-profile politics is unsettling: that she’s a pistol-packin', elk-shootin', yee-hah gun-lover, not to mention a creationist who thinks it's ‘Gaaaaaaaahd's Will’ that good ol' Merkin Boyz are out there in Iraq kickin' some butt. Her interview with ABC News’s Charlie Gibson betrayed a worrying lack of foreign policy experience. Unlike her namesake Michael, she hasn’t exactly been Pole To Pole. She freely admits only ever having visited Canada , Mexico and (briefly) Kuwait, and seems to think that the fact that her neighbours can spit on Russia from their front doors gives them huge insights into Vladimir Putin’s policies. She wasn’t aware that the ‘Bush Doctrine’ of 2002 referred to ‘anticipatory retaliation’ (basically, America’s right to bomb anyone who sort-of-threatens them, like the bloke in the pub who goes up to you and punches you for looking at him in a funny way).

And yet even I have to admit there is something hugely charismatic about her. She is straightforward and plain-talking, and people know what she stands for. And she’ll attract women voters who couldn’t stomach Hillary Clinton. She will appeal to conservative Middle America. With this choice, John McCain has proved himself to be an astute operator (and apparently the two of them had only met once or twice before he made his choice). He has pulled the carpet from under the feet of his opponent Barack Obama, whose charisma and nebulous ‘change’ message looked in danger of sweeping America off its collective feet. Obama seems a decent guy, but I’m becoming more convinced that he’ll lose this election.

And, let’s face it, if you are Vice-President you have a fair chance of having a stab at the top job (John Nance Garner alert aside – the 32^nd VP, he who famously said the office was not worth a ‘bucket of warm piss’). Post-1945, four men have graduated from VP to President – Johnson, Nixon, Ford and George Bush Senior. Not, one hastens to add, that Mrs Palin will be wishing any ill to befall John McCain if he is elected. Although one wonders if any episodes of Commander In Chief have been playing on the Palin household DVD…

And even if Obama wins this time, Palin will still only be 48 years old in 2012 and 52 in 2016… It’s very likely indeed that, love her or hate her, Sarah Palin will become the world’s most high-profile and controversial stateswoman since Margaret Thatcher – and the defining politician of the 2010s.

Now watch me fall flat on my face as they lose… Ah, the joy of predictions.

None of the Above

Is it possible to express your dissatisfaction with politics without seeming apathetic?

People who don’t vote in elections fall into several camps. There are those who don’t like any of the candidates on offer, those who don‘t like the political system per se, those who are so unaware that they neither know nor care that an election is happening, and those who know but don’t care. Whichever you are, there are a number of ways you can express your view without just staying at home. Because the problem with passive abstention is that it makes no distinction between the high-minded, the genuinely disillusioned, the lazy and the ignorant.

After the 2005 General Election, a MORI poll of non-voters found that 13% were ‘very interested’, in politics, 43% were ‘interested’, 30% were ‘not particularly interested’ and 14% were ‘not at all interested’. Interestingly, though, these non-voters still professed the same concerns as the rest of the population – crime, health, money and so on – but they just didn’t necessarily see this abstract thing called ‘politics’ as being the answer to their problems. So, with only a minority of non-voters actually appearing not to take an interest in politics, there must be something else turning them off. The same poll also asked people’s reasons for not voting, of which the largest group (19%) was the ‘not bothered’, followed by 13% who expressed a lack of trust in politicians and 9% who claimed a lack of choice.

The campaign Positive Abstention may appeal to you – it lobbies for positive abstention to be included as an option on ballot-papers. In 2005, the campaign Abstain 05 suggested wording for a sticker to be put over the ballot-slip, At the moment, this would count as a spoilt paper, but at least it is counted. Writing ‘None of the Above’ on your ballot-slip has exactly the same effect – and if enough people in a constituency did it, then think of the message it would send out. By the way, nobody can stand as candidate for the 'None of the Above Party' - the actual words 'None of the Above' as part of a political party's name are prohibited under the Registration of Political Parties (Prohibited Words and Expressions) (Amendment) Order 2005. Spoilsports.

X Marks the Box - Daniel Blythe

What is politics? And why does it matter? Self-confessed
‘born-again voter’ Daniel Blythe presents a popular,
forceful argument designed to shake up anyone’s apathy.

Politics sets the agenda. Climate change, education, crime,
housing – these are political issues, but for many, party politics is
still a turn-off.
Daniel Blythe negotiates the political maze from the citizen’s
point of view. Why should we vote? What do politicians do and
why does it make a difference? Are you a Diehard, a Bloody-
Noser or a Tactical? What can your MP do for you? And just why
do they avoid answering direct questions?

Along the way, we examine the most fun general elections and
the under-rated politicians; the sauciest scandals and the bizarre
sexiest MP polls; the biggest political victories, the U-turns
and betrayals; the issues on the street, the part played by your
choice of newspaper and what manifestos really mean; how to
make your vote count, how to protest, and why you should care
about by-elections.

Whether you are disenchanted or a ballot-box regular, an activist
or a floating voter, this is a book to amuse, inform and entertain.
Irreverent, topical, sceptical and packed with useful facts and
trivia, X Marks The Box takes you on a journey through apathy to
activism – and everything in between.