Did I Say That Out Loud?

It’s not surprising that the advice given to today’s politicians is to err on the side of caution, treat every microphone as if it’s a live one, and always remember – someone, somewhere is watching and listening. Gordon Brown's little indiscretion with a radio mike today wasn't the first such incident, and it won't be the last.

How about a quick look at some other occasions when our politicians revealed maybe a little too many of their human foibles?...

Sing-along-a-Redwood



John Redwood was a pretty unpopular Welsh Secretary, and he is increasingly irritated these days to see the clip replayed of the time in 1993 when he very obviously didn’t know the words to the Welsh national anthem. Like someone in church suddenly confronted with one of those ‘modern hymns’ with the awkward tunes, John bobbed his head from side to side and mouthed something which he hoped resembled the noises which were coming from the people around him. Sadly for him, the cameras’ close-up revealed it all.

Bombing Russia



Ronald Reagan – the man who said with a straight face that there could be a ‘limited nuclear war in Europe’. He believed literally in the Biblical prophecy of Armageddon and cheerfully asserted, during his 1984 re-election campaign, that our generation could be the one to see it. Not surprising that lots of us just wanted to hide under our duvets with a can of spam and listen to Frankie Goes To Hollywood. But his best-known gaffe is perhaps the one which sealed many people’s opinion of him for all time as a dangerous warmonger. On a radio soundcheck in 1984, Reagan declared, ‘My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.’ So that’s what you get, people said, for putting an actor in the White House. We can laugh now, but at the time we thought this was as bad, as frightening, as stupid and as cringeworthy as an American president could possibly get. Which just goes to prove Karl Marx’s aphorism that history repeats itself, first as tragedy and then as farce...

George and the ‘asshole’



While seeking election in 2000, cutting-edge world intellectual and campaigner for peace George W. Bush caught sight of a New York Times reporter he didn’t especially like in the crowd. Dubya muttered to running-mate Dick Cheney that the reporter, Adam Clymer, was a ‘major-league asshole’, to which Cheney responded, ‘Yeah, big-time’. All caught on camera and microphone.

Life’s a beach



Labour Leader Neil Kinnock started his reign with a little walk on Brighton beach for the media with wife Glenys in 1983. All well and good, until he tripped and fell at the water’s edge, getting a good soaking and giving TV folks a classic piece of footage to replay at each subsequent Kinnock ‘stumble’. However, it doesn’t end there. Twenty-four years after his tumble in front of the cameras, the now Lord Kinnock took a wander down to Brighton beach again. This time, he received a four-letter barracking from the pensioners described later as ‘semi-clad’ who were protesting there about the government’s ineptitude over pension schemes. Gritting his teeth afterwards, Lord Kinnock asserted that the protestors were ‘very decent people’ and had been ‘dreadfully let down by the system.’

Master of the entente cordiale



In 2005, before Jamie Oliver had started to pull apart school dinners, another critic of the British menu came bounding on to the scene – France’s President Chirac, who remarked in what he thought was a private chat with Russian President Vladimir Putin and German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder that, ‘The only thing that [the British] have ever done for European agriculture is mad cow disease… You cannot trust people who have such bad cuisine.’ This was said while waiting for the decision on which city would host the 2012 Olympics, so maybe Jacques went for some fish and chips afterwards to cheer up. Or some vintage wine, made with sour grapes.

Don’t cross the Mersey



The ever-diplomatic Boris Johnson, the man who now runs London, wrote an infamous Spectator article in which he accused the city of Liverpool of ‘wallowing in its victim status.’ He should have known that hell hath no fury like a Scouser scorned, and within the week his leader Michael Howard had packed the wild-haired Shadow Culture Secretary on the train up North – off to the land of Brookside, the Albert Dock and the Cavern Club to apologise in person. Radio stations, TV studios, local papers – all were collared for Boris’s penance as he tried to pour oil on a troubled Mersey. It seemed to do little good. ‘I think coming here makes things worse. It's not the right response at all,’ said Mike Storey, leader of the city council.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the House of Commons

There's a brief lull in the campaign. Labour are gearing up to try and win more votes by... making Gordon Brown more visible. (Strokes chin.) We don't want to point out the flaw in that plan, but... Nick Clegg is having a day off to spend with his family, who unfortunately ended up stranded in Spain. Serves them right for taking a holiday outside term-time. And David Cameron is saying something about unelected PMs having to hold elections within 6 months, no doubt with the odd Blair-esque "y'know" and with his sleeves rolled up.

So, it seems an opportune moment to allow ourselves to round up a little satire.

First, remember Gordon saving the world?

Then we have a bit of fun at the expense (no pun intended) of Mr Clegg.

After that, David Cameron goes all Jarvis Cocker for three minutes.

And let's not forget the Greens trying to be taken seriously.

We are nothing if not even-handed here at X Marks The Box.

(We realise we haven't linked to any UKIP satire, but there is nothing we could find which is funnier than their own manifesto.)

First of the Summer Wine

So, we're well into the campaign now - anybody bored yet? Even self-confessed political geek Iain Dale admits to a little ennui at this stage!

First, let's pause for some music.

Right, having got that feeble topical joke out of the way... the Leaders' Debate - aka the Compo, Clegg and Foggy show - has certainly kicked things into touch.

Gordon Brown, thanks to being the most experienced man on the podium, seemed relaxed, perhaps to the point of not being engaged enough.

David Cameron was oddly lacking in fire and a little "rabbit in the headlights" at times.

Much has been made, of course, of Nick Clegg's sterling performance and his party's subsequent amazing poll boost - but will it last? And if it does, will he still get away with addressing the audience directly down the camera, as if giving a Party Political Broadcast?

That seemed quite odd, as did the lack of any rough-and-tumble engagement from the audience. Of course, scrupulous election-period broadcasting regulations meant that this debate could not be conducted like an edition of Question Time, sadly.

So, what will the next week bring? Will the Lib Dems continue to lead the fray? Can the Conservatives rescue their ailing campaign? Will Labour capitalise on the knowledge that, with the parties as tight as they are in the polls, they could end up with the lowest share of the popular vote and yet the most seats? Will volcanic ash cover everyone and stop any politicians getting out on the road? One thing's for sure - anybody getting an overall majority is looking a little doubtful now...

Soft Soapbox?

Well, the date may not have been announced yet but the election is as good as in mid-campaign.

In 1992, John Major won the election unexpectedly, a win which some commentators attributed in part to the "honest John, man of the people" image he cultivated by going up and down the country doing no-frills speeches on a soapbox (actually a reinforced crate), dealing with hecklers and letting a crowd gather around him - in contrast to the now-infamous, legendary bombast of Neil Kinnock's Sheffield rally.

David Cameron, anxious to shake off the aura of 'poshness' which he openly fears will cost him votes, has been doing the "blokey" bit which Blair seemed superficially to do well.

Shirt sleeves, questions in the round, almost a dropped aitch or two - all present and correct in his encounter with the Lewisham College students. He was heckled, and dealt with it well - but surely any politician should be able to do this. It seemed informal and casual, and he made the point that the questioners were not pre-picked - although that's not to say the session wasn't very carefully planned. The students were polite, but took him to task. Many of them looked bored, while a good many of them seemed attentive. He was at least trying. Cameron gives the impression of answering questions, of saying, "well, this is what I believe, even if you disagree with me," and then quickly moving on to the next questioner. It could be an effective tactic.

Cameron came out of it well, but more for the presentation than for the substance of policy. It's quite sad that we find it refreshing, even grudgingly, that a politician can get among the people and answer questions in this way. Surely this should be the norm? The most interesting thing about the whole exchange was his comment that "this is what you're going to get from me." There is more of this to come.

It may not quite have been a "soapbox moment", but he gave the impression of coming clean. It remains to be seen if it'll wash.

X Marks the Box ebook giveaway ends

Thank you very much for downloading to everyone who has downloaded the free ebook of X Marks the Box.

The giveaway has finished now and after only three weeks we’ve had more than 8,300 downloads which is fantastic. I very much hope you’ve enjoyed the book and that it’s helped you think about how politics really affects you – writing the book certainly helped shape my opinions. If you’d like to read the book in the old-fashioned paper format we have a special offer running with Waterstones and the links are below. So all that remains to do now, when the election finally comes, is to VOTE!

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Getting with the Times

X Marks The Box is pleased to announce that the Times Online will be doing a live chat with Daniel Blythe from 1-2pm today (Wednesday). Come along and ask some searching questions.

Link here.

The last day of the free ebook giveaway

Today is the last full day of the giveaway of the free ebook version of X Marks the Box.

At the time of writing this, almost 8200 people have downloaded the ebook since we launched three weeks ago.

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